We were up and off to the OBGYN early this morning for the usual listen to the baby’s heartbeat and ask questions appointment which is almost completely pointless by the way. If we had the little heartbeat machine at home the doctors appointments wouldn’t even be necessary. That is how helpful the doc is!
My blood pressure was 100% normal despite my worries about the heart racing and pounding I’ve experienced. We asked the doc about said heart pounding and were told it is completely normal for pregnant ladies due to increase in blood volume, just like we already read. Interestingly enough my diet modifications (spinach and generic ensure drinks) have decreased the frequency of the heart pounding. I told the doctor this.
I know many of you will be able to recall how peeved I was about my doctor being judgmental of my weight and body size back when we were trying to conceive. Well it seems I’ve found another doctor who insists on doing the same damn thing! What is it with these doctors and their judgments?
Today my OBGYN commented that I was going to be one of those “trim pregnant ladies with a huge basket ball sized bump on my tiny frame” while she was finding Tater Tot’s heartbeat. Innocent enough right?
Then she told me to eat a candy bar once in a while… Seriously she said it like 5 times today throughout the visit and it really started to piss me off. She obviously doesn’t know me because she thinks that I am afraid to eat chips and sweets, that is the complete opposite of the truth guys!
Honestly I am a big fan of anything that is filling and does not require cooking, that means plenty of refined sugars and carbs – too many! Those empty carbs and the sugars are a big factor in my inability to gain weight.
Anyway, I tried explaining this to her and also reminded her that my grandfather is diabetic and that I am working hard to improve my diet and nutrition right now, especially since my nutrition is affecting my baby’s growth. She said my nutritional focus was good but that I should really focus on eating to gain more weight, I totally disagree. To me eating a well balanced nutritious diet is better than eating candy bars and chips just to gain pounds of extra weight.
Oh and by the way I weighed in at 110 today despite having a nasty stomach bug last week that completely depleted everything (if you know what I mean). That is 2 pounds of gained weight from last month, not where I had expected to be but there is some major growth happening.
Be sure to check out tomorrows Weekly Winners post where I share my bare baby bump with you in comparison to the shot taken at 11 weeks, you’ll see the growth!
Oh, and while I am complaining about the doctor I might as well illustrate why the doctor is useless. The whole bedside manner and attitude of the staff working at the local woman’s center (where I see my OBGYN) just isn’t my idea of good care.
First off they act inconvenienced that N is along and interested in the prenatal visits, they ignore him and do not make any attempt to involve him in the visits at all. They block his view, refuse to talk to him and are really annoyed when he asks questions or participates in the conversation.
Second issue for me is I just feel like I am being rushed through this OBGYN assembly line. I sign in with the recptionist, then go to pee in a cup, next the nurse weighs me and takes us to the exam room, takes my pulse then we wait for the doctor. The doctor comes in, is not warm or friendly, finds the baby’s heartbeat, then she wants us to ask her questions, she gives us vague answers to those questions while acting awkward, inconvenienced and while avoiding making eye contact. Then the visit is over we go to billing and book our next appointment.
Literally the appointment took 10 minutes, the only benefit to us was hearing little Tater Tot’s heart beating… By the way Tater Tot’s heartbeat is super strong and so loud now! The heart beat is now found directly under my belly button as opposed to last month when the heart beat was real close to my right inner hip area.
Now back to my ranting: I am sorry I am not just a paycheck or an incubator and I am angry that our medical system thinks it is okay to treat us in this way! I am a person, specifically a first time mom to be who needs support, encouragement and guidance.
I’ve never done this before and I need a bit more than to be rushed through a medical assembly line. I know that the more people they can see the better for their bottom line but that is not better for the patients.
I just don’t want a cold, judgmental person providing me prenatal care much less getting me though the delivery of my baby!
Pregnancy and delivering a baby are very personal, intimate and emotional experiences. Having a good relationship with the practitioner is a big deal. *warning* graphic detail ahead! I mean that practitioner will be down between your legs viewing areas you normally wouldn’t show a stranger, pressing on your parts and guiding your child in to the world.
You are putting your life and the life of you child in this persons hands. Anything can happen during labor so wouldn’t you want someone you can trust, whom you are comfortable with and who has the same ideals as you about childbearing on your side?
How can OBGYNs hope to be a part of this very intimate experence when they can’t even look you in the eye while answeing your questions?
My mamma taught me that my private parts are only for those whom I have a trusting and loving relationship with… The doc is just not fitting the bill!
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Updated late the evening of 1/8/08
After a kind email from Donna B I got out my What to Expect When You’re Expecting book and looked up average weight gain. Here is what it said:
1st Trimester– It says “a good goal for the 1st trimester is between 1 and 4 pounds”.
I weighed 100 when I got the positive pregnancy test and put on 8 pounds by the end of the first trimester.
2nd Trimester- It says “your weight gain should pick up to an average rate of about 1 to 1 1/2 pounds per week during months 4 though 6 (totaling 12 to 14 pounds)”.
Well today is the first day of my 16th week of pregnancy which means I am now officially 4 months pregnant. I gained 2 pounds between week 15 & 16 so that seems normal to me, it is more than the 1 1/2 pounds per week recommended and I even lost weight due to sickness!
Granted I am still an under weight gal so gaining more than a pound or so per week is allowable in my opinion but according to the info in the book, I am gaining a bit more than it says is the norm, that is good right?
I would have liked to hear what the doctor thought my weight should have been, too bad she wouldn’t give me a number when I asked.
My first child was delivered at an Army hospital. VERY assembly line! EVERYone took prenatal vitamins – I quit them because they constipated me sooo badly – no one ever noticed. Then at delivery hour, I found out it was a teaching hospital! I looked up to see about 15 people standing at the end of the bed – I felt embarassed but just too busy at the time to care! The last child was born in the back seat of the car in the ER parking lot… the entire waiting room came out to watch! By that time in my life, I just didn’t care!
I found that having a baby is as much of a private affair as you can make it – in your own mind and world… the rest of the spectators just do not matter. As far as the staff at your drs ignoring N – that is just not cool. They should be delighted that he is such an awesome guy and that he will be a great dad!
I’m lucky. I have the world’s greatest ob/gyn. Due to the fact that I have complicated pregnancies and almost died when I had my daughter, I have to be followed by an MD and deliver in the hospital. My doctor doesn’t set time limits on her appts., and she included both Travis and Taylor when they would come with me.
She knew my wishes about wanting to have Seth naturally, like I did with Taylor. In fact, when I decided I wanted drugs, the nurse paged her to get the ok and she left her office to come over to the hospital to talk to me and make I was making the correct decision.
For every crap doctor, there is a fabulous one. I thank my lucky stars that I have a great one. I hope that you find your perfect one this weekend!!!!
Finding a doc out here that doesn’t roll their eyes about natural birth was impossible. I did tons of research and even got some good recommendations about this doc I am seeing now but she is not good in our opinion. Some liked her, though I am not sure why or how.
Sounds like you just got a bad doc in a bad clinic. When my daughter was pregnant and her husband out of town, I went with her for one prenatal appointment and the staff included me. It happened to be the appointment where the heartbeat was picked up the first time and the nurse with us teared up right along with us. She said she’d been doing this for 20 years and still it never failed to amaze her.
I think you’ll find that kind of person at The Farm.
Oh, one thing my daughter did was rent a fetal heart monitor. They even recorded the heartbeat and sent a .wav out to everyone by email.
Donna B.s last blog post..Future Texas Pom Getting Early Start
That sucks that you have a shitty doc. They should be encouraging N to come along and be a part of the pregnancy. I had a really good OB with both my kids. Even though with Riley I have Navy nurses and docs, she was really concerened about my concerns and always had a open ear when I wanted to ask questions. I was really upset when I found out she wouldn’t be delivering Riley..I developed a relationship with her and then had some random person I have never met before deliver Riley. It’s very important for you to be comfortable with your nurses and docs. I hope it goes well for you at The Farm.
I hate when people tell me to “go eat a hamburger”! My doctor is my greatest supporter in my attempt to gain weight! Mind you, I have had him for almost 20years, so he knows me literally ‘inside and out’. Sorry if I you have said already, and I missed it, but are there other OBGYN’s you can go to?
Loris last blog post..Filling the Void,, yaaaayyy!
Y’know, that’s just irresponsible doctoring. If you’re underweight, a candy bar is the last thing you need. What you need is good healthy fat, whole grains and protein. Geez.
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The only reason you should NEED to eat a candy bar once a day is if you have severely low blood sugar–as in a diabetic who has such low blood sugar that you’ll pass out. You’re right–healthy calories are the most important. It’s unfortunate that she sees a thin woman and thinks you’re purposely not gaining weight and not that you might have a different metabolism than other women she’s dealt with. I’m sorry she sucks and there aren’t a lot of other OB’s to choose from.
Maybe at your next appointment you could ask her point blank if it’s a problem that N is accompanying you. It sounds so old-school to be that rude about N being with you.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..Driving with the brakes on…
I envy your metabolism. I read a recipe and gain weight. Can we get some metabolic sharing going on?
I’m looking forward to the report of your Farm visit.
Donna B.s last blog post..Future Texas Pom Getting Early Start
They just get that weight info off a chart, they should be measuring your unique body mass. some of us are just small boned! I was barely 95 pounds when I got pregnant with Odessa, and was about 105 at 12 weeks. I really started piling on pounds near the end of the 2nd trimester and throughout the 3rd. I gained an average of 50 pounds each pregnancy, and am back to my normal size by 6-8 months post-partum. I agree about the check-ups, they seem like a waste of time. My midwife actually spends a full hour with her patients at each appointment. What drove me nuts though was that every time I’d have the whole fam damily in there and she’d ask “so is your discharge still normal? No odd smells or textures?”
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Wow. You sound just like I feel about the health care professionals in this post. They could certainly stand to treat each patient like an individual human being and not like a cow being processed for slaughter. Sheesh. Anyway, I hope it gets better and that you will have the birth you want, with caring professionals that you trust and that put you at ease.
I really enjoy reading your perspective on the “prenatal care train” here in Evansville. I often think the same things but it is totally different reading it from the viewpoint of a first time mom. I always love it when mommas listen to that voice inside screaming “bullshit!” I am so happy you won’t have to birth at the Women’s surgery hospital..er..I mean hospital..
Wow. I felt the same way today when I went in for my 12 week ultrasound. The tech acted very annoyed and inconvenienced that my baby was upside down. Although it’s fairly normal I felt worked and uncomfortable while she probed at my belly getting frustrated the baby wouldn’t move. I heard the heartbeat and was excited to show my husband as this is our first. I told him as we were leaving wow she might do this everyday and it may slow her down but this is a once in a lifetime experience for us and it would be nice if they showed a little compassion. I do my job the same everyday and when I’m inconvenienced I still smile and have manners why can’t they? I also literally saw the Dr. For maybe 5 minutes. Because my uterus is tilted she could not feel anything. Literally asked me if I had questions and how I was feeling. It may have taken 5 minutes. Thank goodness for health insurance I wonder what I would be paying for that pointless And unfriendly appointment? Atlas
Least hearing the heartbeat makes it all worth it.
Rachel,
Awe, it stinks that you traveled down the “prenatal assembly line” and had such a poor experience congrats on your first baby! I am sure the heartbeat was amazing to hear.
Hopefully you can skip the future, non-medically necessary ultrasounds to minimize drama for you and baby. We skipped all future ultrasounds and tests after our similar experiences didn’t want to pad the pockets of inefficient people 🙂
Don’t forget you can fire your doc and get a new one if things get worse. Make em respect you and honor your experience!