When I was on knees and elbows pushing out Everly and tearing wide open while N and 4 other women watched all my sense of privacy, bashfulness and desire to be ladylike went out the window.

After delivery many unexpected farts were heard coming from me. They were shocking to me because I couldn’t feel them coming and I certainly couldn’t hold them back after a rectal sphincter tear. By the way Krystal, I didn’t poop during delivery (LOL). It took several days following labor for the poop to come.

Following labor I was inundated with questions about and inspections of my vagina, anus, boobs. Had I pooped yet, did it hurt? When was the last time I peed, did it sting? Are the crotchsicles working, how is the swelling etc.

Then there are the baby bodily functions to discuss too. What color is baby’s poop, is she peeing to? Is the poop seedy or runny? Is she having gas and does she burp often? Has she been spitting up?

Basically I am not shy about bodily functions anymore! I’ve shared that my ass hurts on several occasions and have made N’s family uncomfortable I am sure. Just the other day after pooping I noticed only blood on the toilet paper when I wiped so I called to N to inspect the stitches with me. I was sure I ripped one somehow but he assured me it was still in place despite the separating and bleeding.

Back on Tuesday I called N to come in and help me clip off the tail to my stitches that was jabbing the inside of my vagina. It was all this extra from the stitches just hanging out down there. Naturally I didn’t want to clip it off myself because it’s a bit delicate down there and I didn’t have a good view of what I was doing.

He’s a trooper and has no problem checking the damage and helping me down there. He hates thinking about and seeing the awful damage down there though. It really looks much worse than it is and honestly I would rather tear open naturally than have a labor induction or a c-section.

Anyway, back to bodily functions… When Everly poops man it is loud! Breastfed babies have much softer stools. Almost like diarrhea with some stringy chunks and seeds. It is normal for them, I am not sure if the explosive fart sounds are normal though. If you need a visual check out this video.

The sharts (shit & farts) sure are amusing us though. I mean you can hear her pooping from the next room, she has the “poop grunt” down pat and the farts/ squirts are insanely explosive! I mean she doesn’t even really cry as loud as she sharts. We positively reinforce her pooping and she smiles afterward so I guess it is all good.

The post Parenthood brings new perspective on bodily functions. appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.

First some background. Witchypoo left me a comment on this post and then sent me a paypal payment so I could get something special for Tater.

At first I thought she was paying me to stop whining about baby stuff or something, then she clarified that she wanted to buy Tater a nifty cloth diaper but figured it should just be easier to give me the money so I could do what I wanted with it.

I took the paypal monies and promptly visited cottonbabies.com where I bought Tater

<— this beauty on Witchypoo’s behalf.

Witchypoo: I’m glad there was enough! And now, you will associate me forever with poop. Does it get any better than that?

Me: Yep, you get to be the green poopy nappy. Yay! Who knows the poop may even match the green on the diaper, even better. I’ll photograph it and blog about it.

Witchypoo: Hahahaha! Green is my colour! Don’t miss dirty diapers at all, though, especially the green-filled ones. Way ranker than rancid farts.

Me: Ooo, I bet and just think, I get to spray mine off with the diaper sprayer over the toilet while not getting the runny green poop all over myself and everything else in the bathroom. I’ll so be thinking of you.

Witchypoo: I knew I should have knit a fucking hat. Babies heads smell soooo good.

Me: LOL! Nope, you are forever associated with the green, reusable diaper. Stinks huh? Can I post these emails on my blog? Yep, I am copying your ass. What? It will make a good lazy post for while I am away at The Farm squeezing out my spawn!

Witchypoo: You may have noticed that I have no shame. Oh, sure. I’m all about the poop. Now I’ve graduated to green poop. I can die happy now.

Me: Now you should change your nickname to Witchypoop.

The post Green poop filled BumGenius = I appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.