When I was on knees and elbows pushing out Everly and tearing wide open while N and 4 other women watched all my sense of privacy, bashfulness and desire to be ladylike went out the window.

After delivery many unexpected farts were heard coming from me. They were shocking to me because I couldn’t feel them coming and I certainly couldn’t hold them back after a rectal sphincter tear. By the way Krystal, I didn’t poop during delivery (LOL). It took several days following labor for the poop to come.

Following labor I was inundated with questions about and inspections of my vagina, anus, boobs. Had I pooped yet, did it hurt? When was the last time I peed, did it sting? Are the crotchsicles working, how is the swelling etc.

Then there are the baby bodily functions to discuss too. What color is baby’s poop, is she peeing to? Is the poop seedy or runny? Is she having gas and does she burp often? Has she been spitting up?

Basically I am not shy about bodily functions anymore! I’ve shared that my ass hurts on several occasions and have made N’s family uncomfortable I am sure. Just the other day after pooping I noticed only blood on the toilet paper when I wiped so I called to N to inspect the stitches with me. I was sure I ripped one somehow but he assured me it was still in place despite the separating and bleeding.

Back on Tuesday I called N to come in and help me clip off the tail to my stitches that was jabbing the inside of my vagina. It was all this extra from the stitches just hanging out down there. Naturally I didn’t want to clip it off myself because it’s a bit delicate down there and I didn’t have a good view of what I was doing.

He’s a trooper and has no problem checking the damage and helping me down there. He hates thinking about and seeing the awful damage down there though. It really looks much worse than it is and honestly I would rather tear open naturally than have a labor induction or a c-section.

Anyway, back to bodily functions… When Everly poops man it is loud! Breastfed babies have much softer stools. Almost like diarrhea with some stringy chunks and seeds. It is normal for them, I am not sure if the explosive fart sounds are normal though. If you need a visual check out this video.

The sharts (shit & farts) sure are amusing us though. I mean you can hear her pooping from the next room, she has the “poop grunt” down pat and the farts/ squirts are insanely explosive! I mean she doesn’t even really cry as loud as she sharts. We positively reinforce her pooping and she smiles afterward so I guess it is all good.

The post Parenthood brings new perspective on bodily functions. appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.

First some background. Witchypoo left me a comment on this post and then sent me a paypal payment so I could get something special for Tater.

At first I thought she was paying me to stop whining about baby stuff or something, then she clarified that she wanted to buy Tater a nifty cloth diaper but figured it should just be easier to give me the money so I could do what I wanted with it.

I took the paypal monies and promptly visited cottonbabies.com where I bought Tater

<— this beauty on Witchypoo’s behalf.

Witchypoo: I’m glad there was enough! And now, you will associate me forever with poop. Does it get any better than that?

Me: Yep, you get to be the green poopy nappy. Yay! Who knows the poop may even match the green on the diaper, even better. I’ll photograph it and blog about it.

Witchypoo: Hahahaha! Green is my colour! Don’t miss dirty diapers at all, though, especially the green-filled ones. Way ranker than rancid farts.

Me: Ooo, I bet and just think, I get to spray mine off with the diaper sprayer over the toilet while not getting the runny green poop all over myself and everything else in the bathroom. I’ll so be thinking of you.

Witchypoo: I knew I should have knit a fucking hat. Babies heads smell soooo good.

Me: LOL! Nope, you are forever associated with the green, reusable diaper. Stinks huh? Can I post these emails on my blog? Yep, I am copying your ass. What? It will make a good lazy post for while I am away at The Farm squeezing out my spawn!

Witchypoo: You may have noticed that I have no shame. Oh, sure. I’m all about the poop. Now I’ve graduated to green poop. I can die happy now.

Me: Now you should change your nickname to Witchypoop.

The post Green poop filled BumGenius = I appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.

This is the first attempt at Weekly Winners that I have made on this blog. All photos were captured using my new Kodak CD1013 that refuses to turn on when I need it. These Weekly Winners aren’t stunning examples of mad photography skills like the shots Lotus takes. Mine are just stunning glimpses of day to day life in my house. Enjoy (but pay no attention to the mess okay?)!

Don’t you just hate not being able to pinch off that last piece of poo?

Dragging your butt from side to side across the bathrom floor is not the optimum way to finish your business but hey, some just have to make due right?

Do you see the long, dark hair in the factory sealed package of salmon?

Jack, out kitty has a real bad habit of turning and running before he surveys the area. This results in him running in to the corners of walls and hurting this same spot time and time again. How many times does a cat have to face plant in to a wall before loosing one of it’s 9 lives?

… And then there are the Wii photos. How about a little Wii Fit Yoga that the dog gets in to?

She was really in quite a trance.

Then there is the spilled coffee thanks to N bashing the Wii controller in to the table following Christmas gif opening. Nice!

The post Weekly Winners – December 29th – January 4th appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.

It worries me because cat litter can’t be good for a dogs digestive tract plus the process of eating cat poo somehow results in the poo and litter being strewn about the bathroom and the house (which is bad because I am not allowed to handle cat feces while pregnant) plus it just makes you want to vomit.

Sometimes I wonder how much of the poo she actually eats and how much just gets thrown about in the process. Either way poo eating is bad business in my opinion.

Yesterday while I was in the bedroom blogging and watching Desperate Housewives I heard things moving in the bathroom. Since our kitten, Gabby, was acting all psycho at the time I figure she was just tearing through the house knocking stuff over as usual.

Then I heard some major action in the covered cat box. Since 3 out of the 4 indoor cats don’t understand the concept of scratching the cat litter after doing their business I just figured a cat had used the box and was proceeding to noisily scratch the side of the box or some other area that was not the cat litter. Freaking geniuses!

So I continue blogging and I hear the cat box jostling and all that. Then I hear the dogs collar jingle and I realize the dog has her head in the cat box. This makes my blood start to boil because the cat box is so off limits to her and she knows it.

I called her name and sure enough she comes out of the bathroom hanging her head because she knows she is caught and doing something bad. I head towards the bathroom to assess the cat poo mess and I get to see Dixie, our dog, still working to finish off the piece of cat poo that is hanging from her mouth.

You see the cats eat everything they shouldn’t. Like ribbon, string and even my hair apparently because the cat poo that was dangling from Dixie’s mouth was being held together by my hair and she was having a hard time getting it down in it’s weird stringy state.

I was so disgusted to have to witness the cat poo “cookie” eating even after I shooed her out of the bathroom so I reprimanded her and took her down to her room. On the way down the stairs the poo “cookie” she was enjoying came loose from her mouth and fell on the steps. I photographed it just for you so you could share in my disgust!

I wish we had a laundry room on the main floor that we could keep the cat box and cat food in. I would gate the room off with one of those baby gates to keep the dog out and would never have to deal with “cookie” eating ever again. One day I’ll get my wish!

Great blog post for the first of the year huh? Yay for 2009! I just wanted to lighten things up a bit around here. Hope it worked…

Oh I am so taking Teeni up on the speedy meme she posted today:

Meme details: This one is from Speedcat Hollydale. The rules are:

1. Take a picture of yourself right NOW!
2. DON’T change your clothes
3. DON’T fix your hair…
4. Just take a picture.
5. Post that picture with NO editing.
6. Post these instruction with your picture.
7. Tag some people to do this meme.

Here is my photo contribution taken with Photobooth on the MacBook:

I am tagging my close girlfriend, Krystal, who writes over at: http://tapthatmom.wordpress.com/, I am also tagging April for this meme and anyone else who wants to participate!

The post Munching cat poo "cookies" is gross! appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.

The dress retails for $1100, the slip for $49.00 and the bra for $80.00, we got such a steal and did a heck of a job staying under our $400 wedding dress budget.

The dress is brand new, the bra was used for a fitting and the slip was worn previously but I don’t mind. All I wanted was for the dress to be new and authentic. Now all I need is the matching veil and some shoes I like!

N says we should take the dress, bra and slip in to the David’s bridal shop for alterations, to get the matching slip and to rub in the great deal we got on the dress. I am considering it, we are going to have to hold off on the alterations though especially since the period is late again…

Just wanted to share that great deals I got with everyone. It really does pay to shop around! Those bridal shops want to create a sense of urgency at the shop so they can pressure you in to completing the sale. They work hard at it and we almost fell for it. Good thing we didn’t because it saved us a whopping $947!

Also, thanks a bunch for all the thoughts and advice about Hailey and her poo shenanigans. We are attempting to remedy a possible health issue of hers. We suspect she is constipated and that is why she is pooing in strange places (thanks to much google searching and your comments).

Now she is locked in the garage with a litter box, water, a bed and some wet/ oily cat food. Apparantly cooking oil can help with constipation. So we’ll see how often she poos and what the consistancy is. Fun huh?

The post When my wedding dress comes it is going to be like X-mas!! appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.