Just the other day we were having breakfast at IHOP and there was this huge party of what seemed like a family gathering of sorts. There were small children, parents, grandparents and all… We are talking about 12 people all sitting together.

There was this small boy who got pretty fussy when placed in the high chair once they arrived. His mom was clearly annoyed and overwhelmed with him and she gave him things to play with, he was also sitting right next to another small child, a girl who was not fussy.

The little boy cried and threw his crayons and paper to the floor and proceeded to make a fuss. His mom scolded him, shushed him and even lightly smacked him on the arm in an attempt to stop the crying and fussing.

This went on for quite some time, mom even took the little boys high chair and faced it away from everyone sort of “timeout style” thinking this might quiet him. Both mom and dad took turns dragging said boy in to the bathroom where he no doubtidly got smacked or yelled at in private. Each time the boy returned to the high chair he continued to fuss and cry, mom repeated the above techniques over and over with no result.

The boy cried through our entire meal and nobody in the family other than mom and dad paid him any attention. Mom and dad were only providing negative attention and eventually an IHOP server came out with some to go cups and a trinket that she placed under the to go cups. She played with him and he quieted right down!

The whole situation was just another thing for us to observe and learn from as soon to be parents. We’ve gotten lots of ideas about what to do and what not to do thanks to being able to learn from other parents and I wanted to take this a step further. I want to know what your take is on the following things and why they do or do not work:

1. Young children in public. Do you take yours out and do they behave the way you want them to? How do you avoid bad outing experiences and also allow the child to be a child while still enjoying yourself?
2. Electronics and parenting. Do you allow children to have a  TV, computer, video game system, etc in their room? Do you limit the time spent on electronics, why or why not? How do you know your little ones aren’t being exposed to the wrong stuff via the electronics?
3. Dinnertime. How is dinner time done in your house and why? Do you make sitting down for family meals a priority or does everyone eat at different times, why or why not?
4. Parents time with kids. Do you and your spouse/ partner share equal time with the children or does one parent do more than the other, do you think this is important? Do you worry about children not bonding enough with one parent, if so how do you remedy this?
5. Good cop/ bad cop. Does one parent get to be the good cop all the time or is disciplining done equally by both? Do you worry that this impacts one parents relationship with the child?
6. Housekeeping vs. Quality time. Are you concerned about making sure your child lives in and is exposed to a clean orderly house? Or, are you more concerned about spending quality time with the kiddos even if the dirty dishes pile up and the pet hair covers the floor?

Also, if you have some advise on something I haven’t brought up yet share that too! I am in an advice getting mood.

The post Thoughts on parenting… Dos, don'ts and inbetween… appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.

I have noticed that my recent posts have been nothing but a diary of happenings, preparations for the move and my worries. Writing them makes me feel okay afterward but it makes for some uneventful reading I am sure. I guess all the moving prep has sucked me dry of any inspired writing ability these days. So here is all I could manage

I am: eating a tuna sandwich
I think: moving companies are a pain in the butt
I know: things are going to be great once we get to Evansville
I have: a major headache right now
I wish: i could just get everything for the move set right now
I hate: waiting
I miss: hanging out with girlfriends
I fear: paying for this move is going clean us out
I hear: the x-files on TV
I smell: tuna, remember I am eating a tuna sandwich
I crave: sees candy chocolates but we don’t have one here
I search: for the life I am meant to live
I wonder: how long it will take us to conceive once we get settled in Indiana
I regret: nothing, everything was worthwhile and beneficial in some way
I love: excitement and trying new things
I ache: just thinking about how we are going to have to pack the moving truck
I am not: a mother or a wife
I believe: in life things happen in the order they are meant to, not in the order you have always dreamed.
I dance: almost everyday!
I sing: in the car but used to be a vocal performer.
I cry: vary rarely but probably should cry more.
I fight: when I am irritable, which happens to be right now
I win: at Tetris all the time!
I lose: so much hair every day, I shed way too much!
I never: go without coffee in the morning
I always: try to think positive
I confuse: N all the time and don’t mean to.
I listen: to all my friends and carry their problems
I can usually be found: on my laptop
I am scared: that my site was hacked, has anyone clicked links on here and been taken to different urls?
I need: to feel like I have started my own family, with or without kids.
I am happy about: N getting his new job and us moving away.
I imagine: the move will be exactly what we need.
I tag: maiden53, Becky, FabGrandma, missburrows and Talina Ripper

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