personal stories

How close are you to your family?

The term “family” means something differnt to everyone. For me my family has always been basically just the immediate family. My real father was out of the picture when I was just about 8 years old. My mother raised us alone for a few years and then remarried.

For us family has been who ever was present at the time. On my mom’s side I have an aunt, grandmother, grandfather and two uncles that are discussed and who make an appearance every now and then. On my real fathers side I knew of a grandmother, grandfather and two uncles but haven’t seen or heard from them since I was very young.

I think that knowing about your family is important. Different situations and circumstances may not allow you to be close to all of them and that is okay but it is important to know of them and be open to possible relationships with them, they are after all family right?

Family is important to me because they are often all you have to rely on. My mother, brothers and I are close. We have been through lots together and the experiences have allowed us to get to know each other in many ways.

I remember as a child I was doing a family tree for a homework assignment. This was after my real father was out of the picture and when I asked my mother about my relatives I remember she didn’t have much to share with me about the entirety of my heritage. I never really felt like I needed to learn much about my extended family till recently.

Last night, made it possible for my long lost aunt from my father’s side to find me. She is only a few years older than me but she remembers me and thought she would look me up.

I think it is crazy that she was my fathers sister (half sister if I am correct) and I never really knew about her. I guess I met her when I was very young because she remembers me but how crazy is that? It kind of makes me irritated that for the last 17 years I had relatives out there that may have had an interest in knowing me and my brother and we never knew about it.

I have a half brother that I couldn’t imagine loosing contact with, if I had kids they would know him or at least know of him. How do you just cut yourself off from family like that? So, now I am wondering what happened in my father’s childhood that caused his mother and father to split up, how did the remarrying come about? How were things with his half siblings and him? I haven’t heard from him in 17 years so I can’t ask him myself.

So many questions and so much I really don’t know. I can’t even remember my grandmothers name on my dad side of the family! It’s crazy how little you know sometimes… So maybe I’ll start researching my lineage so my kids will have the info if the every wonder the same things, just don’t know where to start!

<p>A city girl turned farmer. Yes women do farm ;) Owner and operator of direct to consumer, Ryder Family Farm in Southern Illinois.<br /> Wearing many hats I'm also a mother to 3, a wife, a yogi, a farmer, a 4-H & Girl Scout leader & hospitality manager.</p>

3 thoughts on “How close are you to your family?

  1. first off, you have a myspace page! Why are we not friends?? my link is
    Second, I’m like you, my family is pretty much my immediate family and I am very close to them. My mom is my best friend. My dad left us when I was like four or something and he has since passed away. I am SUPER close to my grandparents.
    I think it’s cool that your aunt found you! That is really, really cool!

    Janelle’s last blog post..Can we have a march in Washington for this?

  2. I have tons of cousins and aunts & uncles that I haven’t seen in over 30 years. Somehow my parents’ extremely tight-knit families kind of fell apart. It’s a bummer and we always talk about having a reunion, and I’ve offered to host it… but it’s impossible to get that many people in one place at one time. Or that’s the excuse. I think the importance of close family is a thing of the past. It’s really unfortunate.

    Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..Just Doing My Part

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