I was crying at the drop of a hat (for no particular reason) and I was sure I (as a person) was gone now that the baby had arrived. I particularly remember crying and feeling like the world was ending the first day N went back to work and left Everly and I alone for the day.

Many told me that things would get back to normal following Everly’s birth and I didn’t believe them. I thought for sure I would forever be a sleep deprived, tunnel visioned shell of a person who was just living to fulfill the needs of their child. I imagined my own interests, needs and routines were forever killed now that I had a child to care for.

I am pleased to discover that this is not the case! Sure I am still fulfilling needs and often deprived of sleep but remarkably it all seems normal and perfectly manageable now that she’s 10 weeks old. We’ve adapted and are now fulfilling her needs in addition to carrying on our day to day activities. 10 weeks ago I just could not believe this was possible!

We’ve learned almost all her signals and are doing okay at keeping her happy most of the time. She’s sleeping fine, only wakes about twice a night for feedings and does easily go back to sleep.

I’ve also gone back to work with Everly in tow and she is a trooper! She actually prefers loud sounds to soft ones and we discovered that she likes instrumental music, so hearing the marching band play is perfect for her.

She also enjoys classical tunes so we’ve been playing it at the house. I am also singing scales to her during play time and she trys her darnedest to intimidate me. She’s shreaking with excitement and practicing her sound making skills now too.

We are still cloth diapering and breastfeeding her with great success. She’s also getting the occasional bottle from daddy here and there so she’ll be able to be cared for by someone other than me when needed.

Her daytime naps are still a slight challenge, she’ll often refuse to sleep when she clearly needs to. This can create some fussy days and nights when she is allowed to become overtired.

All in all I am happy to report that things do go back to normal eventually following the arrival or a baby. All the advice and supportive words were right, it was just hard to see that far ahead while in the thick of it.

Things are so well adjusted that we even had time to perform makeovers on BOTH our blogs in under a week. Did you check out N’s new blog look and what do you think of the new look here?

The post First time parent shock and adjustment (it really does get easier) appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (August 25, 2009)—Displaying a stunning lack of regard for patient autonomy, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) issued a statement this week declaring that the group will “allow” laboring women to drink “modest amounts” of clear fluids during labor while continuing to prohibit access to solid food.

“Once again ACOG has issued a position statement with little regard for the evidence or for the ability of women to make decisions for themselves,” said Susan Jenkins, Legal Counsel for The Big Push for Midwives Campaign. “It’s insulting that ACOG actually believes that laboring women should be grateful that they will now be ‘allowed’ to have more than just ice chips, when we have long known how vital nutritional sustenance is to mothers and babies not only during pregnancy, but during labor as well.”

Hospitals routinely adopt ACOG position statements as standard policy governing the treatment of pregnant and laboring women, despite the fact that a number of the organization’s position statements do not acknowledge all of the risks and benefits associated with common procedures. “ACOG is asking laboring women to do the physical equivalent of a marathon on the power of a ‘modest’ amount of clear liquid,” said Sabrina McIntyre, mother of two. “Thanks but no thanks. I’ll stick with my midwife and her wisdom of keeping up my physical stamina for such a monumental event.”

Policies restricting food and liquid intake date from an era when laboring women were routinely given general anesthesia and risked aspirating food into the lungs. Modern anesthetic techniques have virtually eliminated this risk, which is further reduced by the fact that only a tiny minority of laboring women, even among those who deliver via cesarean section, actually receive general anesthesia.

“The women in my birth center eat when they are hungry and drink when they are thirsty, all without asking for ACOG’s permission first,” said Elizabeth Allemann, MD. “Women deserve to be fully informed about what the evidence actually shows, and it’s time that the medical profession abandoned policies based on the outdated and paternalistic idea that patients should play no role whatsoever in the decision-making process.”

The Big Push for Midwives Campaign represents thousands of grassroots advocates in the United States who support expanding access to Certified Professional Midwives and out-of-hospital maternity care. The mission of The Big Push includes educating national policymakers about the reduced costs and improved outcomes associated with out-of-hospital birth and advocating for including the services of Certified Profession al Midwives in health care reform.

Media inquiries: Katherine Prown (414) 550-8025,
katie[at]thebigpushformidwives[dot]org.

I’ve been watching the news regarding ACOG, health care reform and Midwives. I believe women (especially low risk ones!) should be allowed to eat or drink as needed during labor. Food and drink are the only way you can muster the strength and stamina to get through labor. I know from personal experience.

Personally, I had a huge pancake, bacon and hash brown breakfast and PB & J for lunch during my dilation and between contractions. I also had yogurt, mixed nuts, Powerade and water during my pushing phase of labor. It was 18 hours from the time my water broke till my baby girl was born.

There is no way in hell I would have gotten through the labor and delivery without food and drink, that is probably what ACOG wanted though. If you are too tired to push and aren’t progressing on your own (because you are starving and also running on empty) they can intervene with more costly, forceful delivery procedures…

Think about it, the more women who can’t get through labor & delivery on their own the better for their pocket books right?

Okay, I am done ranting and being opinionated. Just wanted to share the info. What are your thoughts?

The post Press Release: The Big Push for Midwives Campaign responds to ACOG's Newest Position Statment appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.

It was a rough three weeks getting used to our new roles, especially for me and my crazy after birth hormones. I am feeling good now (hormonally speaking), the postpartum bleeding has just about stopped and my stitches (from what I can see) are practically healed up.

As you can see from the photo, I am getting good at holding Everly in one hand while doing the internet thing with the other. I am still struggling with the self care while caring for a newborn thing though…

You see I’ve lost about 40lbs in 25 days which brings me very close to having my pre-pregnancy body back. I am attributing that to genetics and the fact that I am breastfeeding. I wont be comfortable loosing much more weight though.

Also, I am having a very hard time finding time and freeing both my hands so I can prepare food to eat. That probably has something to do with my quick weight loss too. We are working on that, it’s just hard to walk away from Everly while she’s fussing.

Yep, she’s still fussing here and there. She’s a great sleeper and a very good baby when she’s not uncomfortable. The problem is she’s still got an immature digestive system (like all newborns) and she doesn’t like pooping or passing gas for whatever reasion.

She’ll fuss and struggle and wont sleep when her tummy hurts, she startles in apparent pain whenever she starts to doze off. I’ve tried eliminating common allergens from my diet (which leaves me starving), we’ve tried digestive enzymes, gas drops, exercises, tummy time, burping and massage. Nothing helps her poop and pass gas without the fussing and struggling. She’s fussing a ton today actually.

The nighttime nursing and exhaustion aren’t even bothering me all that much, it is the fussing that is the worst. Other than the fussing things are going really well.

She’s smiling more and playing mimicking games with us these days. Her red hair is getting pretty long in some areas and she’s getting so big! Almost 11lbs it seems according to our bathroom scale.

In just a few weeks we’ll be heading back to The Farm for Everly’s 6 week checkup and we’ll have an exact weight for her then. I am pretty excited to go back. Pamela, our midwife, is so calming and supportive so we can’t wait to visit with her. We’ll probably stay there a day or two if N can get the time off work. The quiet time together will be a nice bonus too.

In other news we got Gabby, our newest kitty, fixed today (finally) and am so darn glad! Now Boner just needs to be fixed and we’ll have all the pets spayed or neutered. It’s good too, we don’t need anymore madness going on around here. Everly’s fussing is enough.

The post I am back! Almost back to normal that is… appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.

We’ve started printing out some of the photos from the birth and the first few days of her life. They help to make the birth seem that much more real in my mind but I know I still haven’t totally grasped the entirety of it all. Eventually when I am feeling less depressed and emotional I’ll watch the birth video and take stock.

It’s crazy how I was there birthing her totally unmedicated and I still don’t have a complete grasp of how amazing and crazy it all was. Our bodies truly are equipped to get us through intense situations because my hormones and adrenaline sure made it all “tunnel vision” for me if that makes sense.

I’ve chatted with N and my mom about the birth. They each have different moments that stand out in their minds and they have different perspective on it than I do. For N seeing Everly’s head emerge was a wow moment. I am sad that I didn’t get to see her coming out, that is my one regret.

My mom is still in awe of how peaceful and alert Everly was immediately after she came out. I guess my mom expected her to be blue and lethargic. She says Everly’s eyes were just darting all around taking it all in while the umbilical cord was still pulsating.

For me I can’t really pin point one moment since it’s all a blur still. I know that when they placed her on my chest right after she was out I was in awe. Someone captured a great photo of me looking at her for the first time, it really does speak volumes (I just don’t have much memory of it all).

I am pretty much totally healed from the tear now and feel like my body is doing great. I’ve pretty much lost all of the baby weight and you wouldn’t know I was 3 weeks postpartum looking at me today. My appetite is way down which kind of worries me since I’m breastfeeding.

The breastfeeding is still going fine. Everly latches on well and her feedings are beginning to last longer and longer. It appears she now weighs like 9-10lbs based upon my bathroom scale.

Over the weekend I added dairy back in my diet as we shifted to eliminating another possible culprit and Everly went berserk yesterday with major fussiness and apparent tummy pain. I think it is a result of the many glasses of milk I enjoyed over the weekend.

Now I am back to avoiding milk and dairy products. I also gave Everly a tiny bit of the digestive enzyme that the nutritionist/ chiropractor said I should try.

The idea is that her digestive system is not mature enough yet to process the proteins in milk and dairy but digestive enzymes do the digesting when given or taken with meals. Hopefully they’ll help her in the meantime until all the dairy is out of my system.

Yesterday was another rough day. She fussed and cried for about 5 hours straight. Nothing I could do would make it better, I went through the list of possible things I could do to make her happy and more comfortable. Nothing worked. Holding her did allow her to doze off a for a few moments here and there. I only cried twice yesterday during her fussing so that is a small sign that I am beginning to move closer to normalcy.

The digestive enzymes I gave her in some breast milk did help calm her in the evening and she slept pretty well though the night. Today is much of the same, I’ve only cried once so far today.

Even though I know her fussing/ crying is something I can’t always help I still tend to get frantic trying to soothe her and make her happy. Even after I’ve tried every possible thing two and three times with no luck. Not being able to calm her upsets me and I tend to dwell on not being able to fix it all for her.

Reading Twilight (that Krystal gifted me) helps to clear my mind and refresh me though. It forces me to not dwell on feelings of inadequacy in my parenting skills so that is good. Hopefully the tummy upset will improve soon.

Everly enjoyed her first bath over the weekend. The bathtub (that Donna B got Everly) rocks and Everly loved bath time. She only cried when we were taking her out of the water, guess she didn’t want it to end.

Also, she has begun to be more playful and alert in the last few days. She smiles at you and will mimic other facial expressions like if you stick your tongue out at her.

So things are going well. This parenting thing is still hard and we’re adjusting. We hear it’s supposed to get easier so we are hanging in there though. Besides she is to damn cute to give up on!

The post 3 weeks postpartum: Still in a daze trying to grasp it all. appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.

The crazy thing about childbearing is that after birth they really just hand the baby over to you to figure it all out on your own!

It’s crazy to think about how little guidance first time parents get before taking baby home and how scary that really is. I was in labor for about 18 hours and then voila I am responsible for another living, breathing being and on my way home 4 days later.

I still think it all hasn’t fully sunk in for me. Sure the love and attentiveness is there but the gravity of the fact that we are now parents to our daughter, not so much. It is hard to explain really. It’s overwhelming, exciting, lonely, scary and fun all at the same time.

I am overly emotional these days. Talked to my mom and brother on the phone yesterday and cried like very 5 minutes for no reason (other than that I am tired and at a loss). I am still kind of sore and healing still.

We’ve been trying to get out and to continue our regular routines with Everly in tow. Today we grocery shopped and visited my chiropractor.

Unfortunately, Everly is still fussy and it’s hard for us to not have a way to ease her discomfort. I chatted with my chiropractor/ nutritionist today about her troubles and he had some good solutions for us to try.

We are also still in touch with our midwife from The Farm and will be heading back for Everly’s 6 week check up in the beginning of August.

I’ve also been informed of a local breast feeding support group that has weekly meetings in our area, I plan to attend the next meeting.

Basically we have many good info resources and are just learning as we go, which is how everyone does it. It’s just a trying, exhausting and scary process along the way.

The post Reflections on parenthood, 16 days postpartum. appeared first on Updates from Ryder Family Farm.