Found a quote that basically sums up the baby shower situation and our feelings:
Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in -Alan Alda
I am still getting many messages about the shower turnout and it seems I may have not clearly articulated things. We were hurt and disappointed, yes, but we aren’t letting it all shut us down. Yeah, it would be so easy to just eliminate tons of people from our lives but we want to avoid placing blame or finger pointing.
The point for us was to express our feelings and work through them not to blame others. We were hurt, felt let down by many and were sad. The thing about feelings is that they are the result of many variables right?
Our feelings were probably somewhat influenced by our expectations of those close family and friends. Our feelings were also probably influenced by our assumptions made regarding how others are supposed to act based on proper shower etiquette. Our feelings were also influenced by the actions of many others (shower turnout, the lack of response by others to the invitations and so on)… To just focus on one variable would be silly since so many played in to our resulting feelings.
So, we’ve openly expressed our feelings and we don’t expect others to take responsibility for them. We do appriciate everyone who has reached out to apologize or to clear up any misunderstandings about the shower and their attendance.
Right now we are just focusing on all the blessings we have in those who have shared in our special time in whatever way they could. We aren’t cutting people out of our lives so to speak. We are aware of the fact that we do waste much time and energy in the wrong places with those who will never reciprocate the sentiments.
We do think it is reasonable to redirect our attentions and to focus on those who have warmed our hearts as opposed to focusing on those people whom we think should be involved in this special life event. This doesn’t mean we are shunning anyone, just means we wont be pouring as much effort, time and energy in to trying to get them to care. Hope that makes sense.
On to brighter topics! Look who is exploding with baby belly:
Can ones belly button come undone while pregnant? I think mine might! He, he….
I am pretty sure I am weighing in at about 133 right now (if my home scale isn’t way wrong). I’ve got another silly prenatal appointment with the OBGYN on Friday so I’ll have an update on my weight at that time. Oh and tomorrow marks the beginning of my 33rd week of pregnancy.
Last night N said he started laughing to himself while walking behind me. I guess it seems like I am not pregnant from behind but I am totally waddling when I walk, which looks silly since you can’t detect the pregnancy from behind… Funny, I haven’t felt like I am waddling all that much but I guess I am just used to it.
Also, getting myself up and down these days is getting WAY harder! N now has to use 2 hands to hoist me up out of bed in the morning and I am getting pretty close to not being able to get myself out of the bath tub on my own… LOL. Good times!