Control is an illusion that we all struggle with.
Do you believe you have control over your life? What does it mean to control your life? Can you control death and various other life changing events? Can you control the direction your life is headed? Your answers to these questions make you the person you are.
When life-changing events take place many of us begin to analyze our lives and the steps we have taken to get to where we are. People ask “why me?” or “what could I have done differentially?”. When we loose someone close to us we wonder why and we often do not understand the loss. Some will become angry or resentful others will learn and grow from the experience.
I strongly believe that we are presented with obstacles in life to force personal growth. Sometimes we are perfectly happy where we are in life, other times we feel we lack the strength to change anything. Change is hard and people resist it but without change you can never grow. Life has forced me to move forward and grow many times, all of which were against my will.
A personal story illustrates this perfectly-
My significant other and I moved to Flagstaff, AZ for personal growth, career advancements and to free ourselves from the area we grew up in. We consciously made the choice to leave our old lives behind and to see what life had in store for us. We have been here and doing great for two years now.
In November 2005 we found out a major job/ life change was in the works for us. The television station my significant other works at is up for sale. That means we may not be able to continue living in Flagstaff if my significant other is out of a job. In the beginning the news was heart breaking to me since I have poured my heart and soul into creating a Colorguard program at a local high school. The idea of having to leave my students and all that I have worked to create was very crushing.
First I felt shocked by the news, and then I became angry because “It just wasn’t fair”. I became depressed for a while then I began to accept the situation. Once I was in the acceptance phase I was able to start seeing things from different perspectives. I then started to become excited about the possibilities. Finding a new job for the significant other will most likely take us out of the state of Arizona, which is exciting. We have both only lived in Arizona so moving to a new state will be quite an adventure. Also my significant others’ career possibilities are exciting. He is a news personality and is just starting out, moving and getting a new job provides him with the chance to make more, to gain more valuable experience and to move to a bigger station/ market area. Also, the possibility of having to move urged me to start my own online business that can go with me wherever I may be.
Once I cycled through all the stages of grief I was able to find the good in the situation. I realized that if we are not forced to forgo change we could probably stay here comfortably forever. We would probably never become the people we are meant to be though.
“If we always do what we’ve always done, we will get what we’ve always got.”
We still have no word on when the TV station will be sold and to whom. We have accepted this situation and we anxiously await the end result. We will go wherever life takes us and we are working to be more accepting of the changes that life throws our way. We are trying to “be the water not the rock” and are doing our best to play the cards we are dealt.
Realizing you don’t know everything and that you don’t call all the shots is really hard but also a bit comforting. Life has a direction for all of us and all we really have to do is go where we are sent, do the best we can and keep our spirits up throughout it all.