Some people think they need to have all the answers in life. The idea is that we all must make the right choices, please the right people, do the right thing, say the right thing, feel the right thing etc. I really believe that is just not humanly possible. With all the different varieties of people in the world there is just no way to please everyone! Besides you are only going to have yourself to face in the end.Like most people I never want to look back and wish I had done things differentially. I don’t want to have regrets and missed chances haunting me when I am old. I live my life seeking personal happiness and I try to do “the right thing” along the way. I am not really religious and I don’t go through life second guessing myself. I just follow my heart and do what I honestly think is the best thing for me. Don’t get me wrong, I do take into account the feelings of others and the affects my choices will have on them but I do not live my life and make my choices because of others. Some people will say that this is an awfully selfish way to live. I disagree entirely.
In the end we are all responsible for our own personal happiness, we cannot depend on someone else to make us feel better or to say the right thing to us. If we do then we are asking people to disregard the way they are feeling personally and to simply worry about our own well being. That to me is awfully selfish. Living for someone else is a terribly romantic concept but it is not logically a very healthy way to live and it will result in regrets and possible resentment in the end. I have learned this the hard way and I am watching people close to me struggle with this right now.
I feel like living and loving yourself and is the best way to live. You cannot ever be truly happy with another if you aren’t looking out for and loving yourself. I am struggling with this and I am learning lots about this from the people around me. It is quite the journey!I am just having trouble accepting that the “right thing” is what is best for everyone else. I don’t understand how that can possibly lead to happiness. Sometimes logic and what everyone else wants is not the right solution, sometimes you just have to listen to your heart and do what you need to do for yourself.
I guess it is just that some people have gone so long without listening to their hearts and they honestly do not know what would truly make them happy anymore. It is sad that some people get that lost in life but I guess if that is the way they choose to live that is their purgative. It’s just so hard to watch especially when those people are obviously lost and unhappy. Some people are just more comfortable that way and comfort is safer than change.
I’ll admit I do feel judged and hurt by those who see me “following my heart” as a sin or whatever… It truly does hurt and friendships may be lost but there is nothing I can do to change others. I accept that.
However, I firmly believe in being accepting and honest with myself so I will continue to do what I feel is best for me. I have come to terms with the fact that other people are going to be the way they are regardless of what I think, so I am just accepting that and I am just going to worry about what I can control, myself.
This is the kind of advice that I am so good at giving to others, but so terrible at following myself. (sigh). Really good timing for me to read this. I’m going through a personal situation right now where I am being blatantly told to “do the right thing” for somebody else, regardless of how difficult it is day to day to handle the emotional pile up doing this causes me.
Thanks for the well thought out post.
I am glad somebody else can relate!! I am in quite the situation right now. I feel like I am being punished for following my heart and choosing to be understanding of myself.
I have come to terms with the fact that other people are going to be the way they are regardless of what I think, so I am just accepting that and I am just going to worry about what I can control, myself.