Happy, crappy Friday the 13th! · Ryder Family Farm- Southern Illinois
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Happy, crappy Friday the 13th!

Happy, crappy Friday the 13th!

At 2 am I got a start to the craptastic day thanks to the kitty crying and waking me in the middle of the night. Good parent preparation right? First thought in my head was, “Damn! N didn’t feed anybody before bed that is why they are crying!” I confirmed this my asking him, he answered “no” while asleep by the way.

So I grabbed my robe and ventured down to the damp, cold and moldy basement to fill food dishes when the most disgusting smell hit me. It was a cross between mildew, wetness and feces. When I fed the cats I spotted a piss covered litter box with poo filling it, figured that was the source of the smell. Oh and there was cat vomit, we are talking huge piles of just chewed food stuck to the tile everywhere! One of our cats has been purging it seems.

I am banned from cat box duty (since becoming knocked up) and have been avoiding the basement like the plague now that N is taking over scooping and feeding duty with the animals so needless to say I am grossed out by all the animal mess. I haven’t seen it in 4 months. I know he’s been real busy and the animals literally make a new gross mess for us like twice a day so I know he’s not slacking off that bad… The sight (and smell) of it all just pisses me of though.

Then I notice the dog was not closed in for the night, she is crate trained and is put in her “home” whenever we are leaving the house or asleep. Basically whenever we can’t directly supervise her and she can’t be outdoors she’s in her “home”. It keeps her behaved and keeps the floors accident free. You see, she will poo and pee inside if unsupervised and confined to her home.

So, since she was out I realize she’s squeezed poop out all over the floor. It was like she started in one area and when the poo started to come she just walked around trying to get it in as many places as possible. Poop pieces were everywhere and she peed too! Just a nice eff you from her to us in the form of feces and piss. I was super mad but just closed her in her home and headed back up to bed. It could be dealt with in the morning right?

Wrong! After about 30 minutes of laying in bed thinking my blood pressure was sky high, I was wide awake and was super pissed about all the piss, vomit and shit mess that was sitting undealt with downstairs. My mind immediately went to thinking about how the heck we’ll be able to raise a child in addition to all the other stuff we need to do each day. It was my first “there is no way we can do it, we can’t even take care of all we are already responsible for, we are so totally screwed, there is not enough time in the day or money in the bank” freak out time. Welcome to parenthood huh?

I mopped the soiled floors, dealt with the poo and was loosing my mind at 2 am. I had to clean the place and get everything back in order before I would be able to try going back to sleep. N woke up and came down to help me… At 4 am (3 hours before he had to be back awake and taking the car to have the breaks fixed) we were able to lay back down and try to sleep. Great start to the day huh?

Oh and our home is being invaded by critters! We’ve still got fruit flies everywhere in this house. I read somewhere that in humid climates they can live in the drains and pipes. We’ve tried everything to get rid of them. Produce is not left out, sirty dishes and food are dealt with immediately so they have nothing to feed from and yet the are still in our house swarming us.

Also, I am pretty sure some birds have found their way in to the attic of this house since I can hear all kinds of stuff happening up there. N thinks they are entering somewhere near the front door… So we have flies in the house, birds in the attic and fungi growing in the basement.

He said he would try to find the place where they birds are entering the house and screen it off this weekend. You know the 2 days we have every week to get our own shit done and try to relax? I told him hell no! Tell the landlords to fix their own shitty ass house, it is not our investment or problem!

See how great my disposition is? Happy, crappy Friday the 13th!

So now I have a question for all you parents. How the hell do you and your spouse keep all the duties straight, get it all done and keep your sanity?

I mean N normally does animal feeding, caging and cleaning duties now so I assume they are taken care of but when he is too tired, lazy or whatever and they don’t get done how they hell am I supposed to know to pick up the slack (especially when he doesn’t tell me to)?

Moms, do you just run around double checking your husbands work all the time or do you trust that when he’s supposed to do something it gets done? Do you use chore charts or what? How they hell do you keep it all straight and ensure nothing slips through the cracks? WTF?

No Comments
  • It’s easier to train the animals than to train the husbands.

    witchypoos last blog post..Grace The Fifth

    February 13, 2009 at 6:18 pm
  • jack always poops in a trail. i don’t understand it. bug leaves a big pile and then moves on. but it’s like jack is trying to get away from it while he’s in the act.

    i hope you guys can find another place before the baby comes!

    Mitzis last blog post..Odd Holidays

    February 13, 2009 at 6:30 pm
  • I am sorry that your day started out so crappy! 🙁 Mine did, too, but in a diff way… the water heater died half way thru my shower… all nice and cold and soapy!

    You and N will be great parents…. a bad pet owner/parent would have just left that mess til morning!

    maiden53s last blog post..For Jessica

    February 13, 2009 at 7:33 pm
  • Haha! I guess I can say “Welcome to Motherhood”! It sucks. I dont know what rested feels like anymore. If I cant sleep I clean. When I’m awake I clean, do laundry, clean, do dishes, clean, fold laundry, clean, clean kids! Its a never ending chore. Thats why we didnt have any pets till recently. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it all. Taking care of a newborn is so much work, I was doing good to feed and shower myself. I couldnt have handled a pet.
    Basically, I pretty much do 99.99999% of all the household chores. At least if I want it done right. The things C does, I have to double check, because he will half ass it if I dont.
    I cant relax and calm down at night if our house isn’t picked up, meaning, floor cleaned, toys put away, trash taken out and dishes out of the sink. It sucks to wake up to hungry kids and a dirty house.
    So you have two choices.
    1. You can learn to live with things out of order.
    or
    2. Do it your self and know its done, and what you dont do, double check.

    Krystal McCarthys last blog post..If I blog it, they will come!

    February 13, 2009 at 7:34 pm
  • I’m so sorry, but I laughed when I read his. As the mom to 2 drastically spaced kids, its as if I’m living two different “mom lives”. I have the teenager, and the preschooler. And 3 dogs, a cat, a rabbit, and a husband to the mix, and I’m lucky I’m not locked in a padded room! I have learned to let certain things go and not get to me. I’ve been forced to change my priorities. Honestly, it was good to give up some control and to just go with the flow. But, I will admit I’m able to let go because my husband does help. He may not do it when I want it done, or do it like I would do it, but it gets done. But, I still wonder how I manage….if you find an answer SHARE!!

    Beckys last blog post..Interesting or gross?

    February 13, 2009 at 9:27 pm
  • Ah… what Becky said. Do it like I want it done? No way. My dear husband has asked me and I’ve tried to show him how I fold the towels so that they fit on the shelf neatly. Poor guy. He doesn’t get it. Maybe it’s because he’s old or maybe it’s because he’s a guy.

    But, I’ve learned to live with non-uniform folded towels. And to appreciate that at least he gets them to the bathrooms instead of leaving them in the dryer.

    Though totally foreign to me, my daughter manages because she has a schedule, a routine, and a ritual. I am always amazed that she can go through a 2 minute ritual and get my 2 year old granddaughter down for a nap with NO FUSS AT ALL! Even more amazingly, it works when I follow the ritual too.

    It took a lot of time, adjustments, and perseverance to get to the point they are at now, but it still blows my mind as a plan and a schedule are quite foreign to me.

    Also, my daughter and son-in-law both are a bit OCD – one’s a mathematician, the other an engineer. So, in a way I think my granddaughter enjoys that I let her play in the mud naked and taste grass. Don’t tell her mom.

    Oh, and your poop experiences are just beginning. That wonderful granddaughter was seriously angry with me when I made her come inside when the sun got high (she’s in Pheonix, so you understand) and while I was preparing her lunch, she was busy emptying her diaper pail. One of those a kid’s not supposed to be able to get into… never underestimate a kid.)

    You and N are in for the ride of your lives! It will be fun and worth it, I promise.

    Donna B.s last blog post..Too Big Too Pass

    February 13, 2009 at 11:45 pm
  • melissa
    Reply

    Like Becky said, you will learn to let the unimportnant stuff go and not dwell on petty stuff, because if you do, you will drive yourself crazy.
    Having a new baby is hard becuase there will be times when you won’t have time to do simple things such as bathe or feed yourself. You’ll learn to eventually adjust and make some time for yourself. The key is to enjoy being a new mom so that means find chores around the house that can be put off for a little bit and just know that it will be ok if it’s not done.
    Adam helps me out around the house alot when he’s home, but being in the Navy, he’s gone alot. The week he was home, when I gave birth to Riley, he did everything around here from cleaning to taking care of the pets. Even now that Riley is 5 months old, he demands so much of my time, I still have to try to fit in time to shower .
    One advantage that I have is my daughter Faith who is 10. She helps me out alot and I give her chores to do. I am going to make a chore chart and put it on the fridge for both of us to see that way she can just look at it and know. I am either going to pay her an allowance or do a reward method to where if she does her chores everyday with no arguements, she will get a star, and if she gets a star all week, she gets something. Maybe bowling, movie night here at home, shopping or something for her she likes. I recently just bought her a baby Guniea Pig. He’s so cute. He’s like 3 months old and is has 3 different colors on him. I think it’s good to have kids learn the respnsibilty of chores and pets at this age. I help her out with the pets but she likes doing it. It makes her feel independent.
    Don’t stress on how your going to get stuff done when your princess is here, it will slowly come together and you can make adjustments when needed. I am so excited for you and N. I have been talking to Adam about having one more in like 2-3 years and then being done. I want another boy but Faith wants a sister 🙂

    February 14, 2009 at 10:27 am
  • When my husband is home, it’s just a given that he does dishes. If he’s not home, I do dishes EVERY OTHER day. I bought a super sized sink to accommodate this. I haven’t been preg in 2.5 years and I still don’t clean cat boxes. We have 2 boxes so they don’t have to be cleaned as often (like when Mr Hyphen is on a long trip), but I will clean them in an emergency. We have bulk cat feeders and waterers in the basement, so we only feed when they’re empty. It took the cats a while to learn not to try to eat ALL the food in one sitting, but now they’ve learned that it’ll always be there, they don’t need to binge and purge. We would NEVER have the capacity to feed the cats every day. The dogs are fed in the kitchen, and are fed twice a day–and sometimes I hate to say it, I remember the 2nd feeding at 9pm when all the ruckus has settled down.

    I vacuum almost every single day because I have 2 dogs and 2 cats and you never realize how hairy your pets are until you have a tiny baby crawling on the floor and you think “OH MY GAWD my baby is rolling in all this animal fur!!”.

    We have a general understanding of who does what chores.

    It is SO HARD in the beginning with a newborn. But if you work on a routine before baby comes, it’ll be easier. AND, yes you have to double check the husband’s stuff, if it’s important like feeding the animals, locking the doors, etc.

    And if at all possible, have food prepared and frozen before baby comes (especially since you don’t have family close-by).

    February 16, 2009 at 11:14 pm
  • Oh yes, and I love what Donna B said. Husbands do things differently. Not necessarily BAD, just different. Get used to being okay with it. Even when it comes to parenting. Moms will load a diaper bag with all the essentials before leaving home. Dads will toss a diaper and a hand full of crackers in their pocket and take the kid to the hardware store. It just IS.

    February 16, 2009 at 11:17 pm
  • My husband too…I always be the one who take care his left job. In the beginning I was so angry to him for being unresposible. But time to time I’ve got use to it.

    February 17, 2009 at 12:32 am

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