For those of you who don’t know about N and I we just got engaged but have been together for about 6 years. We’ve been living together for 5 of those years, our finances and our lives are intertwined. We have joint checking accounts, shared credit card accounts, we are beneficiaries on life insurance policies, we share a lease and the list just goes on.
While living in Arizona we enjoyed being domestic partners, his insurance covered me and our domestic partnership declaration provided some legal rights for the other person if anything terrible were to happen. Having shared benefits and a declaration of partnership provided us with peace of mind and the time to save up and prepare for the engagement and wedding we want.
Well now we have picked up and moved to Evansville, IN, we researched the rules of our new state. Domestic partnerships did exist. N arrived at the new job and was filling out his human resources paperwork when he learned domestic partnerships are not an option through his new employer. The university of Indiana does recognize same sex partnerships but generally everyone else doesn’t. Basically if you are not married on paper you are not eligible for company insurance.
Additionally Indiana does not recognize common law marriages (neither did Arizona) so there appears to be no way for us to have shared health insurance unless we run out and get a marriage license and then have a ceremony performed here before we have our actual wedding with family and friends. We are planning to be married eventually but saving for and planning a wedding takes time!
I am just so mad about this country right now. So much is so a$$ backwards here! The health care issue makes me mad. Only legally married people can enjoy shared health insurance, do you know how many people that leaves out? If committed people want to partake in shared employer sponsored health care and they are the ones paying for it why not let them?
Making marriage the only way to shared health insurance and legal rights only entices people to rush out and marry for the wrong reasons, that just leads to divorce… It all just makes no sense to me!
Also, how can you limit domestic partnerships to “same sex unions”? I think we all deserve the same rights and benefits regardless of sexual orientation.
I am just so bothered by all this right now and my mood stinks. Perhaps it is the period huh? Where is my huge bag of M&M’s? I need chocolate and sweat pants and laziness.
Hey! Indiana!! Hide the guns!! I’m just sayin’.
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Health care and health insurance issues are something that I can talk about forever. Needless to say, I share the same feelings that you stated. A lot about the way insurance is set up is completely backwards.
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I’ll come back when I have more time and tell you about my experience with health care while “only” living with my man. what a joke!
But for now, I want to say can’t you file a discrimination lawsuit about that, being only for same sex partnerships???
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There is so much wrong with the health care system in this country. Truly beyond belief.
It’s all about the money. Period. If insurance companies have to pay for you and for him…that’s more money it costs them. Even if you’re paying premiums. Insurance companies SUCK. Do they actually care about the humans they insure? Nope. They care about their bottom line and the CEO’s million dollar bonus. And they can do it, because our country allows it.
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I don’t know why everything has to be all screwy. You should call the town (or city) clerk and find out about marriage licneses. I don’t think there is much to it at all.
I think that there should be one rule..and it should be nationwide.. I am 100% for States Rights..but this..not so much.
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hmmm… as I understand common law marriage (as recognized in Texas) it requires a public statement from both that they are married, as the sort a couple might make by presenting themselves over a period of time to the public as a married couple.
In other words, if everybody around them considers them married, they’re married.
Not that I advocate sneakiness or illegality, but who would have questioned it if you just took N’s last name and you both said you were married?
I’ve never had to submit my marriage license to anyone (except the military) to prove I’m married. Not even the Social Security system required it when I changed my name.
But I’m not really suggesting you do that. It really wouldn’t be right. It just points out how silly laws can be, especially when you have them explained to you by a lawyer!
As for insurance, I’ve always called insurance the root of all evil. And been roundly blasted for that opinion many times.
But consider that it is health insurance which has made healthcare both unaffordable and widely available. It also raised the status of Doctor from one equivalent to the guy who owned the hardware store to somewhat mythical (and mystical) heights.
Sorry… I’m taking up too much of your space with my strange notions.
I hope you can find something workable for you.
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