Letting others learn for themselves. · Ryder Family Farm- Southern Illinois
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Letting others learn for themselves.

Letting others learn for themselves.

The journey of life is filled with choices and resulting consequences. Every situation we experience leads to the next experience and every experience has choices to be made whether you are aware of them or not.

People DO NOT have to be the victims of the circumstances in their lives. Everybody is dealt a hand in life but from there choices have to be made that will determine the direction of ones life.

I say these things because I am living proof of them. I did not have a perfect childhood and I was exposed to many things that made my journey more difficult. It could have been easier for me if my childhood was different but I REFUSE to allow my past circumstances to dictate my future.

In the past I have found myself very frustrated with those who choose to “play the victim” in their lives. I know people who had bad things happen to them so they have grown to expect and even subconsciously create reoccurring bad situations for themselves. They feel sorry for themselves and expect everyone else to. This may sound harsh but they CHOOSE to remain in the same situations in life while expecting people to feel bad for them. This is absolutely absurd to me..

I don’t understand why people allow themselves to suffer more than they need to, watching this is very frustrating for me. I recognize that people cannot often see the other choices that could be made and that sometimes they are not strong enough to make a change… Nevertheless I am angered and frustrated when those around me choose the more difficult paths.

I often feel like I should help guide those around me who are struggling. The problem is offering help and advice when it is not wanted can prove to be pointless, very frustrating and often detrimental to the relationship in the end.

I am grieving today because my younger sibling is making some life altering choices that I do not agree with. I am angry because I don’t want him to suffer and sacrifice when he does not need to. I don’t want him to make the same mistakes others around us have and I believe that he truly deserves better than he allows himself to have. I am scared for him and it hurts me to watch him make his choices.

I am often a stubborn person and I know that sometimes people need to make mistakes in order to learn from them. I just want to save him from the heartbreak and struggle. I can see other choices and paths that could be taken but my opinion is not wanted.

Rather than pushing my sibling away with my unsolicited advice I am choosing to accept the decisions being made and to respect his right to choose. It is just so hard to watch a loved one struggle and learn the hard way.

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  • No, you’re right, you can’t give advice or help if they don’t want it. People make choices…and have to face the consequences. Yes, it hurts, doesn’t it? We all want the best for our families…oh, if you only knew the hell my son has put me through. But now I tell him,,,,I love you,I have faith that you’ll do the right thing,,,and I’m in your corner always. If you need me, I’m there….and he says, I know Mom. That’s all I can do or anybody can do.
    There are victims, I was one too many years ago, till I realized that you have to ‘volunteer’ to be a victim, and I decided then, I no longer choose to.
    Some get it early, and some don’t. Like the song says, ‘You gotta have faith’ and prayer does help.
    Have a good week!

    April 16, 2007 at 5:58 pm

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