I spend my days trying to teach kids that those fears we harbor inside ourselves can actually keep us from achieving, doing or becoming what we want most. They inhibit success and can trap us. Nothing is worse than not knowing what could have been, that is why you just need to reach for your dreams and get over being afraid to fail.
I am not sure exactly what shaped my thoughts on fear. I know when my mom felt trapped in marriages I picked up on it but I think there must have been something more that made me so set on moving beyond fear.
Fear is supposed to help protect us from injury right? Walking down a dark alley makes you fearful because it is a bad situation and you could be harmed in the situation. Fear helps us avoid potentially dangerous situations, it also prevents us from doing stuff that could potentially improve our lives.
Fear is a red flag meant to get you thinking. It isn’t necessarily something to wholeheartedly base decisions upon. It is important to weight the pros and cons and try to see the positive outcome before simply avoiding the fear.
So, at what point does fear simply become a crutch? I notice my fears when I am exposed to something new or unfamiliar, it seems to sneak up when it shouldn’t and that is just damn annoying.
When I ask my students to try something new they are immediately afraid to try, they might fail. They practically freeze at the thought of doing something they have never tried before. What is so scary about possibly failing something you try? Isn’t the trying simply an accomplishment in it’s self?
In 2 months I am picking up and moving 1500 miles away from my family and friends for N’s job. N and I are not married or engaged so I have no legal financial security, just trust and commitment. I do not have a job lined up out there, just possibilities and options. I have no idea what is in store for us out there but we are going anyway, despite the initial fears. We want a better life for ourselves and we feel this move will bring it. We have done some research but actually all we have is the job offer and the belief that this will be best for us. Are we crazy for just picking up and going? Some people sure think so but we don’t.
The fears are there but we both know that they are simply a natural response to change and uncertainty so we don’t even worry about them. Plus there are just as many positive signs as there are fears so we listen to our gut feeling and we know that this is the right move for us. Plus we have made it through our first smaller scale move away and we did fine, how much worse could it be? We are not worrying ourselves with the fears.
Fear tries to keep us in familiar territory, it allows us to stop looking for better, it can make us bitter. If you really want something more, something better remember that fear is only one aspect to be weighed. Look at all the other sides, what could be gained if you succeed? Is not succeeding in the way you planned really failing at all? Will you wonder and regret if you don’t try? What do you have to loose and what could you gain?
Fear is not the only thing you should base your decisions upon, it is only an aspect to be considered. Sometimes to find better you need trust and courage to keep walking and searching, even when you don’t know where you are going.