On fear and it's impact on life. · Ryder Family Farm- Southern Illinois Produce & More
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On fear and it's impact on life.

On fear and it's impact on life.

I spend my days trying to teach kids that those fears we harbor inside ourselves can actually keep us from achieving, doing or becoming what we want most. They inhibit success and can trap us. Nothing is worse than not knowing what could have been, that is why you just need to reach for your dreams and get over being afraid to fail.

I am not sure exactly what shaped my thoughts on fear. I know when my mom felt trapped in marriages I picked up on it but I think there must have been something more that made me so set on moving beyond fear.

Fear is supposed to help protect us from injury right? Walking down a dark alley makes you fearful because it is a bad situation and you could be harmed in the situation. Fear helps us avoid potentially dangerous situations, it also prevents us from doing stuff that could potentially improve our lives.

Fear is a red flag meant to get you thinking. It isn’t necessarily something to wholeheartedly base decisions upon. It is important to weight the pros and cons and try to see the positive outcome before simply avoiding the fear.

So, at what point does fear simply become a crutch? I notice my fears when I am exposed to something new or unfamiliar, it seems to sneak up when it shouldn’t and that is just damn annoying.

When I ask my students to try something new they are immediately afraid to try, they might fail. They practically freeze at the thought of doing something they have never tried before. What is so scary about possibly failing something you try? Isn’t the trying simply an accomplishment in it’s self?

In 2 months I am picking up and moving 1500 miles away from my family and friends for N’s job. N and I are not married or engaged so I have no legal financial security, just trust and commitment. I do not have a job lined up out there, just possibilities and options. I have no idea what is in store for us out there but we are going anyway, despite the initial fears. We want a better life for ourselves and we feel this move will bring it. We have done some research but actually all we have is the job offer and the belief that this will be best for us. Are we crazy for just picking up and going? Some people sure think so but we don’t.

The fears are there but we both know that they are simply a natural response to change and uncertainty so we don’t even worry about them. Plus there are just as many positive signs as there are fears so we listen to our gut feeling and we know that this is the right move for us. Plus we have made it through our first smaller scale move away and we did fine, how much worse could it be? We are not worrying ourselves with the fears.

Fear tries to keep us in familiar territory, it allows us to stop looking for better, it can make us bitter. If you really want something more, something better remember that fear is only one aspect to be weighed. Look at all the other sides, what could be gained if you succeed? Is not succeeding in the way you planned really failing at all? Will you wonder and regret if you don’t try? What do you have to loose and what could you gain?

Fear is not the only thing you should base your decisions upon, it is only an aspect to be considered. Sometimes to find better you need trust and courage to keep walking and searching, even when you don’t know where you are going.

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  • Fear crosses the line and becomes a crutch when it disables your daily life… fear of the unknown, like moving out of state, is human. But the excitement of the new adventure in a healthy person, overcomes the fear parts. The fear will keep you alert to the problems that may arise so that you won’t be hit from the side by them. I am excited for you and Nathan :-)… I am looking forward and very thankful for all of your future posts about your adventure! I will live vicariously – hehe 🙂 Your faith, trust, and committment to each other is inspiring.

    maiden53s last blog post..Le Duck Chateux

    July 1, 2008 at 9:22 am
  • A very thoughtful post. I agree with you wholeheartedly and when I was your age would have done exactly as you are doing.

    Aging changes that. It’s not out of fear that we don’t change things as often as we grow older, but lack of energy!

    Enjoy the trip, enjoy the new place. Enjoy the unknown.

    Donna B.s last blog post..Jindal Vetoes Legislators’ Raise

    July 1, 2008 at 8:12 pm
  • I finally saw your comment on my article about my blog on Gather, I know it was a long time ago, but decided to come over to your blog and take a look.

    I have done what you are contemplating, sort of. My husband and I sold our house and everything we owned, and bought a travel trailer eight years ago. WE have traveled to many places, working at campgrounds and resorts along the way to make a living. My advice would be, go for it, or else you will end up with a lifetime of regrets.

    FabGrandmas last blog post..I Spent The Day Baking

    July 2, 2008 at 12:20 am
  • I have picked up and moved and started a new job knowing absoultely no one, and I did just fine. However, stick me in a room full of people my age, and I will freeze on the spot! Its like I forgot how to speak or make eye contact. Fear can be a good thing, like in the situations you described, but it can also be very hindering and trying to find a happy balance isn’t always easy.

    Beckys last blog post..The Visit

    July 2, 2008 at 5:46 pm
  • When I was 21, I picked up and moved 1300 miles. Twice. I knew nobody. On the first move, I had a job, and that’s it. On the second move, I picked up the phone and called everybody from the phone book in my job path and found a job, over the phone. I’m so glad I did it. Those are some of my very favorite memories I’ve got. As a parent, I can see why my parents were afraid for me, but it made me who I am. To this day I still retain some of the friends I made during that time.
    It becomes harder as you get older and have other little people who you have to think about. Doing it now is worth SO much.

    Hyphen Mamas last blog post..How To Make Grocery Shopping Complicated

    July 2, 2008 at 8:46 pm
  • Fear for me makes us safe and not to go extra mile though it wouldnt allow us to learn and grow.

    July 3, 2008 at 8:02 am
  • All I can say, I loved this post and am going to copy and paste it for blogs I am keeping for my girls. Love it!!

    Janelles last blog post..The Park Bench

    July 3, 2008 at 8:49 pm
  • Wow! Great entry, Talina. I encourage you to do as you are! Overcome your fear and take advantage of the opportunities before you. I took a travel nursing assignment in California in the Fall of 2007. It was a very difficult time in my life personally, but it was something I had always wanted to do. It was also quite possibly the last time I would ever have the opportunity to do something like that. I was alone and 6 months pregnant. But, I did it! I loved it. I experienced people, places, things, etc. I never would have otherwise. It was just as scary when it was time to come “home.” I agree that it is MOST CERTAINLY the fear of the unknown that overcomes us. Have faith. Sometimes it is easier said than done, though.

    Talina Rippers last blog post..Hi. Let Me Introduce Myself…

    July 3, 2008 at 10:05 pm

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