Tater's Shower: reflections on friendship, blessings and learning to let go.
I took a break from the computer for the last few days. I was afraid having interactions via twitter, facebook or through blog comments would only result in my being bitchy to people and unnecessarily hurting feelings. I took a few days to let it all “simmer” and to get some perspective on things.
Basically, we are still pretty hurt and pissed. The Arizona baby shower Krystal went though all the trouble of planning… The one where she bought food, planned party games, made favors, sent out invitations for… Well 4 people showed up to it!
Yep, 4 people out of about 100 (who were in Arizona) … 3 people were N’s immediate family and one gal was a close friend of mine. We received solid RSVP’s from about 1/8th of the people invited and the rest were either undecided or didn’t bother to respond at all.
There is just so much that pisses me off (that I can’t really publish online), the shower was basically a reminder of all those things for us. We aren’t pissed about gifts or lack of attendance it is way deeper than that…
It is the lack of reciprocal support/ love, superficial relationships, people feeding off the limelight, drama stalkers, etc that really get us…
Basically we have far too many one sided relationships, which was a major driving force in our willingness to up and move so far away, not too much to stick around for!
On the other hand we have had the opportunity to meet many genuine, caring people via blogging, social networking, etc who are a major (even unexpected) blessing in our lives. It seems the best thing for us to focus on is looking at those around us right now and to leave those people from the past in the past.
It is a conflict though, we’ve never wanted to be “those kind of people” who appear self centered and who never reach out to or remember those who made an impact on us and helped us get to where we are. At the same time there is only so much reaching out and caring we can do before it’s obvious there will never be any return. Besides it is exhausting and hurtful too.
So, we are done. It is what it is and now we are moving forward, cutting our losses and focusing on cherishing those who are actually in our lives at the moment. This means you!
Now, I’ve gotta go bake a cake for N’s birthday tomorrow…