To me the hardest thing is to watch a loved one go through trying times and to not be able to help them. My brother is dealing with some heavy stuff right now. He had a child with a girlfriend and they have just come to terms with the idea that they can’t be together as a couple. His daughter and now ex-girlfriend just left his house to be on their own. He is not on his daughters birth certificate because his pregnant girlfriend was a minor when she gave birth.
Ugh, it is a whole slew of drama that I don’t want to bore you with. Basically sitting by and watching him make his choices and watching him struggle is killing me. As outsiders to the situation we can see what his next step should be and we have given him advice but he sees things differently than we do, he is doing what he feels is best. He is scared and overwhelmed, all we can do is support him and hope it all works out.
This quote reminded me of him:
We want facts to fit the preconceptions. When they don’t it is easier to ignore the facts than to change the preconceptions. – Jessamyn West
He believes that he has no chance of gaining parental rights to his daughter despite the fact that he IS the stable parent. He believes that mothers have more rights than fathers regardless of the situation, we cannot seem to convince him otherwise.
Okay, enough of the family drama and stress talk. Lets spend some time in my garden!
Here is a wildflower growing in my yard that I like and managed to transplant into some pots. maiden53, this is the flower you were asking me about that I’ll have at the yard sale.
I have no idea what this flower is called but it is pretty and I like it! got any ideas what it is?
My lilies are in bloom! I believe these are tiger lilies, they don’t have a fragrance like my white stargazer lilies but they are so pretty!
Got any fun garden photos of plants growing in your neck of the woods?
I’m sorry to hear about your brother. If he listens to his heart as well as his head and is surrounded by those who love him, he will get things figured out.
Your flowers are gorgeous. I have several different varities of lillies blooming right now as well. Stargazers and callas are my absolute favorite flowers under the sun!
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I don’t have any plant photos to share because, as my friends all point out, I have empty pots in front of my house. Yes, it could be interpreted as being too lazy to plant something in them but I like to think of it as a zen thing. Empty vessels to symbolically put your problems in before entering the house. Ok. I made that up because I’m too lazy to plant something in them. : (
Oh, very pretty flowers – I don’t know what those purple ones are but they do seem familiar. The lilies are gorgeous. I’m sorry your brother has to deal with these things right now. Hopefully it will work out best for him and for his daughter. It’s a lot to deal with at once and he is probably young too. Maybe some time will help.
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The good thing is that in this day and age there are DNA tests to prove without a shadow of a doubt that he’s her father, regardless of the birth certificate. And that gives him parental rights. Period. 3 years ago my brother went through an extremely nasty divorce with his psychotic wife, and they had a 3 year-old at the time. It was so stressful for my entire family. If your brother decides he wants to be part of his daughter’s life, there is always a way.
The flowers are beautiful. It’s been so hot and dry here that our flowers are waning.
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Generally only Asian lilies (which stargazers are) have fragrance. I believe you are right that those are tiger lilies.
http://opiningonline.com/2008/01/10/yearning-for-spring/
Only a small photo in that post, and I’m happy to report that everything I planted last year came back gorgeously this year. I just haven’t felt like taking pictures and that’s a shame.
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i know you know this, but his daughter will always be missing something if he isn’t in her life. i hope that some time helps him focus on what’s important.
is there any reason that you can’t be a part of her life?
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