My birthday is 10 days away. I’ll be 26 N tells me, already I have lost track of how old I am… I could figure it out by doing some math but I don’t really focus on how many years I have been on this earth.
My age doesn’t really coincide with all I have been through, I have much life experience- more than most who are 26. I am more defined by my journey than my age.
My journey over the last year has been a great learning experience for me. I am learning much about “letting go” and opening myself to the possibilities of new experiences. I think I am actually ready for whatever life throws our way, even if it means we will have to move away from our home state, families and the life we have built for ourselves. This has taken me several years to come to terms with and I think I finally have accepted this and am ready for it.
Sometimes you learn all you can in one place and you have to move on to be able to learn and grow more. I am now trusting that life has a plan for us and that we will be taken where we are meant to go. I have no idea what is in store for us but I am ready to be open to whatever it might be. It is kind of exciting actually!
Also, this last year I have been working to heal old wounds and to forgive those who have hurt me so deeply. I remember those deep, nasty encounters and have a hard time forgiving those who were so spiteful to me for no reason. I am still working on this one but feel like I have grown to be more accepting of others. I still wont tolerate people who dump their crap on me but I am growing more accepting of their weaknesses and am now able to feel less hurt by the blows, it’s nothing personal really- they just don’t have the tools to deal with their own issues the way I would.
Um, lets see what else have I learned? Oh, I have learned to be a more positive person. The increase in my positivity (is that a word?) has been the result of me removing myself from negative situations and trying to make those situations I choose to remain in positive ones. I am now able to see the positive in almost anything and I focus most of my energy on it. I feel happier and more satisfied.
The last thing I want to mention is my beginning to learn that in life you cannot be consumed by the expectations of what you life is supposed to be. I struggle with this still but am getting much better as time goes by.
Many people think that they must achieve certain things in a certain order and that is the way it should be. For some this shoe fits, for others it does not and you feel like something is wrong with you.
Life has a plan for each of us and it’s not always what we expect for ourselves. Perhaps the hardest lesson of the year has been to learn to love myself unconditionally and to accept that my journey is different than I expected it to be and that different is okay.
So those are the life lessons that I have come to see this year, some I have mastered- others I have not. Happy birthday to me, now I need to learn more next year!!