funny posts Archives · Ryder Family Farm- Southern Illinois
We to a big leap of faith, quit our jobs are moved to the the heart of the Shawnee National Forest to follow our dreams of self sufficiency and to make a go of living off the land… Can we help you feed your family?
Southern Illinois, farm, CSA, Goat Milk, Soap, Eggs, meat, local food
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funny posts

It’s unfortunate when you “golden shower” yourself… Right?

Someone has popped two top teeth through and is getting quite active, so active that the worn out velcro closures on my five year old cloth diapers aren't doing the job anymore. Must make time to covert the velcro to snaps, ASAP! Last night when I heard a tiny baby cough coming from the bedroom I went in all concerned. Has he been sleeping so long because he is getting a cold? I peek in on him and see exposed penis...

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He said I breastfeed like a hunchback…

Joking insults are flying around the house these days which means, we must me getting back to normal and catching up on sleep or something. The joking insults are a pretty good sign, means we still like each other enough to make an effort and that our humor is returning. Things like "douchebag-deluxe" and "breastfeeding like a hunchback" are the most recent ones...

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A mothers dilemma: Keep sleeping or wash off the sour milk?

I know this is just one of the many dilemmas I'll have to face as a parent. This one is significant because it's the first one, you know a milestone. So humor me okay? Babies vomit. Mine in particular loves to be at the breast 24/7 which inevitably leads to overeating, which in turn results in an overly full stomach and projectile vomiting. Awesome! She's shot vomit everywhere exactly 3 times. Once from her swing on to the floor. Once while cuddling me in bed, it went right down my shirt, arm and all over my side of the bed. Then this morning we were both back asleep after a long early morning feeding when she began to quietly fuss...

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One of the benifits of a pregnant budda belly… Sort of a Wordless Wednesday post.

* TMI ALERT* Run now if girly bodily discussions bug you. Today I've discovered a benefit to having a round pregnant belly that sits just below your boobs. It makes wearing strapless bras a breeze! I mean seriously, before pregnancy when I would wear a strapless bra I would be wrestling with the girls and constantly pulling the bra back up. Didn't matter if I was wearing a cheapo Hanes bra or an expensive Victoria's Secret beauty...

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Don't worry, I am not dead- just blog slacking.

Don't worry, I am not dead. Just crazy busy. I survived the tornado warning and am still doing well with Tater. We are still moving stuff in to our new place and I did actually do the video tour of the new house today. The video is kind of a speed demon tour though, lol. I feel like we are going though the days in "fast forward" and the video really illustrates this. Today I took care of fixing the peony bed here at the old place. In the fall I divided a portion of the bed, it looked much more bare and spread out unlike the rest of the bed which was clumpy and overgrown. Peonies like other rhizomes need to be divided and spread out as the years pass....

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Um, hi! Can you spray your germs somewhere else, please? [*warning* graphic snot pic ;-)]

As you know we've been busting our butts to get stuff done these days. Yesterday we had my chiropractor appointment, talked with our slumlords on the phone (and got out of our lease), then we went to the bank per their request to place stop payments on the 2 checks we sent them for rent but they never got. At the bank we got the really old and really slow teller lady who was oozing of germs. We explained our situation to her and asked to have the 2 stop payments processed, then we were planning to have a cashier's check cut in place on the 2 stop payments. Easy enough right? Well for starters the old teller lady was hacking up a lung the entire time we were trying to tell...

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Critters are everywhere! What is that in our wall?

You know we always have crazy eventful times with animals around here right? I mean all of our pets come to us by some sort of fate. They dart in our front door or are starving in a hole by the sidewalk when we walk by. We are suckers, we just can't walk by and leave them be dealt with by someone else. We feel all guilty and bad...

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Wordless Wednesday, Feb 4th 2009

Nothing like crawling in to bed to find this: Yeah, I know the picture is microscopic and hard to interpret thanks to some stupid photo file corruption that happen when the photo was captured (thanks for ruining my really funny photo Kodak!). I'll try to describe it all for you, see the stain in the bed? See me laughing my ass off? See that yellowish thing in the middle of the stain? No, I did not pee the bed! It's one of these greasy buggers under the covers on N's side of the bed. N made the funniest face when he saw it, it was a cross between a look of disgust and curiosity. My reaction "Awe, dang! Sorry babe", then we laughed hysterically. You see we had Sonic breakfast burritos yesterday morning and then I...

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Weekly Winners January 12th- 18th

Here is this weeks Weekly Winners post, as with last week all photos were captured using my new Kodak Cd-1013 Digital Camera. Here is Alexandria-Maybelle, the bunny. We have had her since way before the move to Evansville. We ended up buying her at the feed and tack store one spring while my mom was visiting us in Flagstaff. We had a bunny, Baby Bunny, prior to Alexandria-Maybelle but because of living situations (the landlord forced us to remove our unauthorized pets from the rental) we had to send her and the cats down to The Ranch to live with my mom for a few months. Anyway Baby Bunny died (from eating apple core and seed we suspect) and we went several months, almost a year, without a bunny in the home....

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Pregnancy + Food= WTF!!

Pregnancy + Food usually brings to mind thoughts of insane cravings at all hours of the day and ungodly amounts of eating. Banana and pickle sandwiches or cheese cake with sardines, right? Well not if you are in my shoes! I am in a major food rut these days. The only foods I am craving are the ones I can't have and it is sure pissing me off! This morning I wanted some damn runny eggs and toast for breakfast but nooooo! Wouldn't want to get salmonella from undercooked eggs, that is not good for Tater Tot huh? Also, a Subway turkey and ham sub is an amazing lunch time treat but pregnant women can't have processed lunch meat either so now I am screwed. We always want what we can't have huh? I have...

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Better late than never- Delurking Day 2009

Blog lurkers are known as those folks who visit, read and then run. They are either too shy to say anything, they are blog stalkers who don't want you to know they are reading or they simply have nothing to say about what you've just talked about cause it was a boring post. Delurking Day 2009 was 1/12/09 but I missed it in my excitement over birthing at The Farm and all. Thanks to Hotfessional and Juggling Life I learned of delurking day much like how N and I realized we were being legally married on halloween, too little to late. Anywho, the idea of delurking day is to get blog readers who don't comment to fess up and leave a comment below so we know they are around here and in...

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Weekly Winners – December 29th – January 4th

This is the first attempt at Weekly Winners that I have made on this blog. All photos were captured using my new Kodak CD1013 that refuses to turn on when I need it. These Weekly Winners aren't stunning examples of mad photography skills like the shots Lotus takes. Mine are just stunning glimpses of day to day life in my house. Enjoy (but pay no attention to the mess okay?)! Don't you just hate not being able to pinch off that last piece of poo? Dragging your butt from side to side across the bathrom floor is not the optimum way to finish your business but hey, some just have to make due right? Do you see the long, dark hair in the factory sealed package of salmon? Jack, out kitty has a real...

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Munching cat poo "cookies" is gross!

I am not sure what is so appetizing about eating cat poo piles from the cat box but our dog is totally addicted to it. It worries me because cat litter can't be good for a dogs digestive tract plus the process of eating cat poo somehow results in the poo and litter being strewn about the bathroom and the house (which is bad because I am not allowed to handle cat feces while pregnant) plus it just makes you want to vomit. Sometimes I wonder how much of the poo she actually eats and how much just gets thrown about in the process. Either way poo eating is bad business in my opinion. Yesterday while I was in the bedroom blogging and watching Desperate Housewives I heard things moving in the bathroom....

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